NFL Mock Draft – Atlanta Falcons on the clock

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Atlanta Falcons are on the clock…

With the tenth pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons select LaRon Landry, Safety, LSU.

Rich Mckay finally realizes that he sucks at drafting wide recievers, and reverts to form, drafting a stud defensive performer from a big time football school.  The Falcons desperately need a safety who can make an immediate impact on the gridiron.  Landry fits this role nicely, and should wrestle the starting spot away from Chris Crocker, a solid run stopper who struggled mightily at times last season against the deep pass. 

NFL Mock Draft – Miami Dolphins are on the clock

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Miami Dolphins are on the clock…

With the ninth pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, The Miami Dolphins Select Brady Quinn, Quarterback, Notre Dame

NFL Mock Draft – Houston Texans are on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Houston Texans are on the clock…

With the Eighth Pick in the NFL Draft, The Houston Texans select, Levi Brown, Offensive Tackle, Penn State University.

The Texans need to fix an offensive line that has been a mess since their failed selection of Tony Boselli in the expansion draft.  Boselli was one of the top three offensive tackles in the league at the time, but never suited up for the Texans because of extensive shoulder injuries.  Needless to say the line never recovered, giving up a remarkable number of sacks annually, while failing open holes for the ground game.

The addition of Brown would be a step in the right direction.  He has prototypical size, checking in at 6’5″, 325 pounds, and phenomenal quickness and body control.  Brown was a four year starter at left tackle, and should immediately step into the starting role for the Texans, thanks in part to his experience and awareness at the position. 

The Texans, especially David Carr, are badly in need of a consistently effective offensive line.  Brown will be the best option available, and the Texans can’t afford to pass him up.

(levi)

NFL Mock Draft – Minnesota Vikings are on the clock

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Minnesota Vikings are on the clock…

With the seventh pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select…well…its complicated…

It’s very likely that the Vikings will field a lot of phone calls from teams around the league that want to trade up to select Brady Quinn.  While the purple people eaters beleive they have their quarterback of the future in Tarvaris Jackson, Quinn could be considered a bit of a steal at this point by teams like the Jets, Panthers, and Jaguars – all of whom have QBs with major question marks.

The Vikings could hang-on to the pick and draft out of need.  They need consistent playmaking from their offensive skill positions, something they have lacked since trading Randy Moss.  Ted Ginn Jr. could be an option, thanks to his track star speed and ability to return kicks.  Ginn is a bit of a reach at this point; he has yet to prove he can run intermediate routes, but after Calvin Johnson he is the clear #2 WR in this draft. 

Ginn is a bit of an athletic freak, and it is very possible he could blossom into a bonafide star in the NFL.  His ability to go deep is coupled with the skills to snatch a screen pass or short slant and produce alot of YAC.  Ginn needs to add some muscle to his frame to help him break tackles in the NFL.  He should be able to immediately contribute over the top and in the return game, providing explosive plays with his blazing speed. If he can put on some weight, there is no reason that he can’t become his generation’s Torry Holt, assuming he works as hard as Holt.

Since 84 left the land of 10,000 lakes, the Vikings have been in an offensive funk.  Trading down and stockpiling picks seems to be the safer bet, but a player with the speed and talent of Ginn could be very tough to pass up. The best case scenario: the Vikings trade down to the mid-first round, and are still able to draft Ginn. But that might be wishful thinking.

(ginn)

NFL Mock Draft – Washington Redkins are on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Washington Redskins are on the clock…

With the sixth pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins select Gaines Adams, Defensive End, Clemson.

The Washington Defense had trouble pressuring opposing quarterbacks last year; acquiring a pass-rusher like Gaines Adams should be a top priority in Washington’s offseason rebuilding plan.  He will provide an instant outside rush, for a defense that recorded a franchise single-season low of 19 sacks.   The ‘Skins are badly in need of a playmaker up front who draws double teams, and can consistently get upfield to collapse the pocket.  Adams fits this role nicely, and should be on the field for all passing downs.

Checking in at 6’5″, 261 pounds, Adams demonstrated his explosive ability at the annual NFL Combine with a broad jump of 9’11″, a 40 time of 4.64 seconds, and a 35″ vertical jump.  He is a sack machine who should be very effective coming off the edge, but he will need to add some bulk in order to stay on the field in a full time starters role. 

(gaines)

NFL Mock Draft – Arizona Cardinals are on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Arizona Cardinals are on the clock…

With the fifth pick in the 2007 NFL Draft the Arizona Cardinals select Alan Branch, Defensive Tackle, Michigan.

The Cardinals are in a unique position in the fifth spot, as they are prime targets to trade down and stockpile picks, in an effort to improve their lines on both sides of the ball.  Branch, a prototypical defensive tackle who anchored Michigan’s nasty defense this past season, is too good to pass up, for a team that lacks defensive playmakers.

The Cardinals’ defensive line was wreaked with injury, and was extremely ineffective for most of last season.  Adding Branch should give the unit an immediate boost in on field production, as well as depth.  Branch checks in at a GARGANTUAN 6’5″, 328 pounds, and displayed the ability to play both the interior and end positions while at Michigan.  His ability to play both spots on the line is key to a Cardinals team that suffered a number of injuries to key contributors all over the defensive line last season.

Ask any football expert and they will all tell you the same thing – games are won and lost at the line of scrimmage.  The cardinals are already well stocked at the skill positions on offense, and have playmakers in the secondary, who could be even more spectacular if the defensive line could control the run and pressure the opposing quarterback.  Branch is the consensus #1 defensive line prospect and a logical fit for a defense that struggled to stop anyone in 2006. If he does his job, this time next year, this might not be the sickest youtube video involving an Arizona defender.

NFL Mock Draft – Cleveland Browns are on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Cleveland Browns are on the clock…

With the 4th* pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Adrian Peterson, Running back, Oklahoma.

The addition of Peterson, a great college back with a combination of size (6’2″, 220), speed (4.4 forty), elusiveness, and a lightning quick initial first step, would do wonders to improve the ground game in Cleveland.  While injury concerns plagued Peterson throughout his collegiate career, he could create a very effective tandem with Reuben Droughns, similar to other effective duos that have emerged throughout the league over the past half decade (see Colts, Bears)

Peterson is a potential home run threat every time he gets the ball, but he can also grind out the tough yards.  Teaming him with a steady pounder in Droughns should force opposing defenses to commit to the run, which will open up some more passing lanes for Charlie Frye, Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards to exploit.  The success of the skill position players, however, rests on the broad shoulders of talented Center LeCharles Bentley and his big bretheren up front.  Last season’s big free agent signing, Bentley was lost for the season on the first day of practice to a devastating injury.  In order for the Cleveland offense to be effective, Bentley is going to have to stay healthy and provide strong blocking and leadership up front. 

With a healthy Bentley punching holes up front, look for Peterson to quickly emerge as one of the better young backs in the league and to help resuscitate an ailing franchise in Cleveland. 

*Pending a coinflip

(peterson)

NFL Mock Draft – Tampa Bay Buccaneers are on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft.. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are on the clock…

With the third or fourth pick (depending on the result of a coin flip) in the 2007 NFL Draft the Tampa Bay Buccaneers select Calvin Johnson, Wide Reciever, Georgia Tech.

A lot of question marks surrond this selection by the Bucs, but one thing is certain: Calvin is a freak, and as sure of a thing as there ever was, and ever will be, in the draft.

Blessed with size, speed, the ability to adjust to pretty much any kind of inaccurate throw (see Tech Fans, starting Reggie Ball did serve a purpose), Johnson is a passing-game coordinator’s wet dream.  Adding him to Jon Gruden’s war chest will make perennial Pro Bowl calibre performer Joey Galloway even more dangerous.   Look for Gruden to stretch the field with Galloway and Johnson, opening up running lanes for Pontiac Williams.

The real challenge for the Bucs in this draft will be manifested in the later rounds, when it is time for the front office to select some pivotal pass protectors for Chris Simms (or perhaps, Jeff Garcia).  The Bucs had a young line last season, and if the incumbents improve, and the team is able to add even more talent, the offense will thrive. Without improved play up front, it won’t matter who the Bucs have under center, or that Calvin got a job.  Garcia would be a great addition, and could be the straw that stirs the drink for an offense that was abysmal last season.  He would fit well in Gruden’s system and is reminiscent of Rich Gannon – getting up there in age, but still an effective distributor of the ball to skilled, game-breaking wide receivers.

Johnson, coupled with better play up front, could mean an offensive revival and a return to prominence.

(calvin)

NFL Mock Draft – Detroit Lions on the clock…

The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits the opinions and whims of fans against the opinions and whims of scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be a more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their teams’ respective selection (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, is the scouting guru who populates the airwaves in what has become a year-round industry (Mel Kiper, we look squarely in YOUR direction). These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to mock the absurdly over-hyped. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft. The Detroit Lions are on the clock.

With the second pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select….Joe Thomas, Offensive Tackle, Wisconsin.

Lions fan can breathe a sigh of releif as Matt Millen avoids the unthinkable and plucks Thomas instead of Calvin Johnson. Thomas’ blend of size and athleticism reminds scouts of a young Orlando Pace, and his potential has Rod Marinelli and Mike Martz salivating. Remember that Pace anchored the line on Martz’ Greatest Show on Turf Rams teams.

The addition of Thomas would provide the with Lions flexibility up front, in their effort to fashion a dominant starting-five. While Thomas played on the left side during his collegiate career, don’t be surprised to see the rookie start his professional career anchoring the right side. Swapping positions would allow Thomas to ease into the speed of the NFL game, and would avoid early encounters with dominant weak-side pass rushers. Incumbent right-tackle Jonathan Scott would slide down the depth chart, giving the team a very capable backup.

The addition of Thomas, mixed with current left tackle Jeff Backus center Dominic Raiola, and the healthy return of guard Damien Woody, would give the Lions a large marge-esque set of bodies up front that should punch enormous holes for Kevin Jones. Forcing teams to honor the run should open up the passing game for Jon Kitna, and should limit moments like these…

With Thomas up front, it would be stupid how close the Lions would come to scoring forty points a game.

(joe thomas)

NFL Mock Draft – Oakland Raiders on the clock….

     The NFL Draft is pure theater, a made-for-television event that pits fans in a battle against scouts and personnel directors. And the only winners are the news-outlets who cover it. There may not be any more ridiculous sight in the world of sports than that of fans cheering – or booing – their respective teams (Jets fans, we look squarely in your direction). With that being said, the only thing more ridiculous than the NFL draft itself, are the scouting gurus who populate the airways in what has become a year-round industry. These experts turn in multiple mock drafts, with varying degrees of inaccuracy; suffice it to say that if these draft-niks gambled on their own picks, they would have a very bad weekend. The draft is an exercise in hype, and we make it a point to address spectacles like it in sport, especially ones that border on the absurd. With that being said, we turn to our own Draft Curmudgeon, Brian Hamburger, for the First Annual Hurricanes are for Drinking Mock Draft. The Oakland Raiders are on the clock.

With the first overall pick in the NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select….Jamarcus Russell, Quarterback, Louisiana State University.

     Notre Dame Fans be damned, The Golden Boy Brady Quinn will not be the first overall selection.  Instead, look for Al Davis to take the 6’6 stud from Baton Rouge, who, following a proud LSU tradition, did not make it to graduation day.  Russell is the prototypical NFL QB defenders bounce off him, and he reminds a lot of people of Daunte Culpepper – minus the gimpy knee and the traveling call touchdown celebration.  His blend of size, mobility, and strength, is coupled with a strong and accurate arm.  This list of athletic ingredients makes for a very interesting recipe that can have explosive results.  The only wildcard that remains is Russell’s ability to read complex NFL defenses, something he had difficulty with at times in college

     The Raiders are badly in need of a rallying point for their fans, and a Quarterback to not only lead, but motivate their faltering franchise.  Since The Tuck, the franchise has been in a tailspin that belongs in Detroit, or Arizona.  Look for the Raiders to pluck Russell with the first overall pick with hopes that he has a Vince Young-effect, elevating production throughout the entire franchise.